By God’s grace I learned what forgiveness is all about.

When my ex-bestfriend and his wife started coming over to join the church service where I’m also attending I said to myself they are just visiting the church. They will not stick longer because they have already asked the pastor’s release before they left the church some years ago. But when they keep coming back for succeeding Sundays I began to have some doubts.

Some years ago they asked our pastor’s blessing and release to join a church near their house which of course is the very practical thing to do. But after some time, I learned that they have maligned our pastor and our church. Good that some church members had the nerve to ask me if what they heard were true. Since I knew the real story I defended the pastor and the church. But what they did made me so angry that when they visited me again they sense my distance. They made an issue out of that incident too without asking me or themselves why I reacted that way.

Now that I can see them every Sunday I am checking myself if that same anger still present in my heart. I’m a little bit surprise in what I discover: there’s no trace of it left. In fact, I cannot even recall the details of the slander made nor the people who informed me about it. The only thing I recall is that they have done something slanderous that almost divide the church but as for its detail none.

Someone might dare say that I still don’t forgive them. Well I dare say also that I have forgiven them long time ago. It’s not me to dwell on bitterness against someone. You see if I have remained bitter I am giving them power over my life. I would have keep dwelling on what they did even in my idle moments leaving me angrier and bitter while they on the other hand would have enjoyed serenity unmindful of the effects of what they did. In this case who’s on the loosing side? Me, of course. So I have faced my issues, released my forgiveness and made use of my time planning for productivity instead of wallowing in bitterness.

But during those years that we haven’t met each other I was not very sure if I have totally forgiven them. Now I’m pretty sure. Their presence made it very clear. I’m free from their emotional fetters. I’m no longer affected.